Snap caption: Ummm, yum yum yum, Ummmm yum yum yum

Keeping up will be that much easier: Kim Kardashian coming to Dubai

The star just Tweeted that she would be heading here "after the summer". (Reminds me of how everyone here says stuff might happen, inshallah, "after tomorrow".)

Typed Kardashian: "OMG I'm soooo excited I just booked a trip to Dubai! I've never been before! This is going to be such an experience!"

I imagine this will get a lot of attention, but not necessarily here. All the Kardashian reality shows air on E! here (that's three and an upcoming Khloe and Lamar, which debuts in the US on Sunday and will feature all the family at some point or the other). Khloe is on the cover of the first Cosmopolitan Middle East. And somehow, I can just picture them in Dubai.

And yes, I follow Kim Kardashian on Twitter.

Dear taxi driver: Asking a female passenger about her breasts is not cool

I got into a taxi near Al Falah Plaza last night. I was famished, so scarfing down a crunchy snack. I apologised to the man.

Driver: Where you from?

Me: Canada.

Driver: How many children, you?

Me: Two. (I always say this. I tire of blowing the minds of men from India and Pakistan who simply cannot fathom a woman my age might have no children.)

Driver (gesturing to his own chest): You give the milk?

Me (shocked, I manage to sputter): That's none of your business.

Now I realise that maybe this was a fair question, if he was just trying to figure out why I was so hungry and that seemed like the most logical explanation. But seriously, in what country could a strange man ask a woman this and not have it be weird?

The rest of the trip: We are silent, listening to the radio.

Change? What change? Not in the UAE, anyway

I absolutely love this piece by The National's Felicity Campbell about how the UAE is a country with no change. As in dirhams. It is the bane of my existence. Everyone wants change. No one has any. She writes:

The reason, as I see it, is this. The easiest way to get money is to withdraw it from an ATM. The smallest note to come out of any ATM in the country is Dh100. And if you want to withdraw Dh500, you are more than likely to get a Dh500 note. Which you are then stuck with for a long time as no one will give you change for it without a fight.

I also like how she thinks. Instead of walking around every day, getting cranky at the assortment of people who should have change that never have any (taxi drivers, I am looking at you), she just decided to arm herself with a fat roll of bills and bunch of coins and call it a day. 

Anybody know where I can get a copy of Cosmo Middle East in Abu Dhabi?

I am dying to review it. I scoured the usual places over the weekend (two bookshops, one in Khalidiya Mall, the other in Abu Dhabi Mall, as well as two Lulus)  but came up empty. By the way it looks like this:

Moby and Snoop Dogg to play in UAE: I am so going to be at these shows

The two are due to play separate shows, DJ Moby at the Dubai World Trade Centre and Snoop May 6 at Yas Island.

And don't ask me how Snoop – porn producer, profanity lover – can perform here, let alone get into the country. I don't want to be a downer, but it is illegal to even have drugs in your system here.

Tweet of the week: Advice columnist and cultural ambassador Ask Ali to wed, finds instant cure for sexual harassment

AliAlsaloom 

No woman dare to flirt with me! Not cuz I'm ugly but cuz she sense her limits with me. If a woman use the same method no man will bug her!