Jagshemash! Spotted in Heathrow: Sacha Baron Cohen

The man, the Borat, in the flesh, right now having a chair massage in the Virgin Atlantic Clubhouse. It's niiiiiiiice when you make cut my cuticles.

How you doin'? Joey Tribbiani, spotted jogging in Hyde Park

Okay, Matt LeBlanc, the hunky guy who used to play him all those years. Yep, ran right past me. And though he looks in perfect shape, he must be trying to lose weight: it was already edging up to 30 degrees C and he had on long pants, a thin fleece and a black skull cap.

England has a lot of rules - and why do British people say "literally" so much?

I was on the plane and heard the air hostess - "I was in Dubai and it was so hot, I mean it was literally, I mean I was literally (hands motioning buckets of sweat falling from her head)..." My favourite is when people misuse it. "I was literally fuming..." I would like to see that!

As for the weird rules, well, I met a friend at a pub and since she has a beautiful brown Lab (named, awesomely, Fudge) we sat outside on the patio. The weather has been absolutely gorgeous here - it was 30 degrees C today - so it was really lovely. As we took our first sips of cider, a staffer came out from inside to tell us that we couldn't actually drink on the patio at that hour. Just smoke, is all.

Next day I met the friend again, another pub, in Earl's Court. Tables outside. Her, her boyfriend, on either side of the deuce against the stone wall. And of course Fudge. I, being the 3rd (well fourth) did what others around me had done: pulled my chair up to the side of the table between them. Five minutes later the bartender comes out to tell me that I can't sit there - the place is only licensed for chairs along the wall. Then I hear a lady at the table beside us, who has also been rousted: "The last pub we were at, you couldn't drink outside, but only on Sundays!"

Check out this totally awesome all-weather scooter...

I am on a press trip in England and saw it in Dorchester, Dorset, for sale at a "scooter" store. I want it for when I am older and can no longer walk properly. Actually I want it now.

Isn't this typical?

Dubai wouldn't approve the Sex and the City 2 shoot, and I imagine it's not going to let the movie air in the emirate either. But there it is, in a Dubai duty free shop, "The Essential Collection", all Dh600 worth.

Prediction: There is NO WAY Sex and the City 2 will screen here

I know it makes a good story, stuff like this. But there really is no "wait and see" to it.  


In my humble opinion, the only way people in the UAE are going to see the new Sex and the City is if they are good at illegal downloading or know a guy with a suitcase who knocks at their door from time to time, bearing another batch of new releases that may or may not work or have been shot by a jittery video pirate on a crappy handheld in some unknown darkened theatre in God knows where. And when you forget your head and spend Dh10 dirhams because it's a new release you really want to see that will never open here, say Sex and the City 2, and it clunks out right at the good part, never to be revived even though you spend 30 minutes trying, well then it will be your fault. 


The first one never opened here – I know, because my oldest friend waited for me to make my first trip home and we went to see it together.

Although the UAE has no problem with bloody, horrific violence, sex, especially city-style, will not fly. Even if by some strange miracle it does show here, it would make no sense. Slash cut slash. Kim Cattrall's character would be all but obliterated and it probably won't make much sense. Liza Minelli performs at a gay wedding, for goodness sake. Best hope is for the full, uncut airing on Showtime next year. They never cut anything.

Just a reminder: it was Dubai who turned the producers down, location-wise, not the capital. And Abu Dhabi that ended up scoring the big product placement without making any sacrifices or without riling any conservatives. Wasn't shot here, see? We had nothing to do with it. 

Apparently a movie manager in Dubai says it's on the "tentative" schedule. But I'll believe it when I see it. And by see it, I mean when I fly back to Canada next month. And sit in a darkened theatre next to my oldest friend, who I know is going to wait for me. 

Do they have these everywhere?

This little contraption was on my table at Cafe Firenze the other morning. As a former server, I cannot imagine anything worse.