Whatever you say, Abu Dhabi Distribution Co.

I got my first water and electricity bill the other day. I am still a) impressed that it is just 75.75 dirhams (or about $25 Canadian) and b) trying to wrap my head around the utility's slogan: "Don't call until you arrive"

Adventures in reporting, part 2

Call to a place, ask can I speak to a woman.

"Maybe," says the operator. "I don't know."

Abu Dhabi to become world's first fully connected capital with new Internet service; frustrated Canadian still waiting for hers

This is the land the puts the cart before the horse, of course. And it's only been a month since I waited at Etisalat, signed up for internet and asked the fellow at the wicket: when will your men be by to hook it up?

"Tomorrow. Or Sunday," he said with a smile. "Inshallah."

Inshallah indeed. You can imagine my surprise when, still waiting - and sooooooo not the only one - I saw this announcement today:

Etisalat puts Abu Dhabi in the ELITE technology league - AUH to become the world's first fully FTTH connected capital with Etisalat's 'eLite'

Posted: 05-04-2009 , 06:29 GMT

Etisalat today announced that Abu Dhabi will become world's first fully connected capital with Etisalat's eLite - the advanced optical fibre communication network, based on the Fiber to the Home (FTTH) technology. Etisalat confirmed that it has reached the final stage of completion of this project, scheduled to be completed in the beginning of Q3 this year. With eLite connecting all the households in Abu Dhabi, the city will become world's first 100% FTTH connected capital. Etisalat is also in the process of connecting Dubai and Sharjah through eLite.
Etisalat’s eLite, the fibre to the home (FTTH) based network is considered to be the most advanced technology globally, for connecting homes. eLite will provide high speed broadband internet to the households, opening infinite new options for home entertainment such as high definition (HD) video service quality and clarity, video on demand (VoD) and Online Gaming. Moreover, eLite will also open up innovative business avenues like e-education and online health check-ups.

But there is hope. If I am reading this press release right, by the beginning of July, I will definitely have my wireless hooked up.

And about the blog

One year in Abu Dhabi means one year keeping this blog - I forgot! I was already practised in the fine art of writing random bits of slightly entertaining nothingness online regularly, as I had kept a blog in Canada as part of my job for 18months previous.

I got used to it, and I liked it. But I've liked it even more here. And with the help of Google Analytics, every day I can check and see how many other people like it too. Some might say obsessively. I am chuffed to say it's getting close to 100 people a day... sometimes more, sometimes less, and though most are from the UAE and Canada, people are checking in from 50 other countries as well.

So how now Azerbaijan and Vietnam, Senegal and Bulgaria. I won't ask how you found the blog or why. I'll only say I'm glad you did. And thanks to everyone who pays a little bit of attention, now and then, and the others who take the time to make a comment or two. And to my good friends back home who read too, like Trish and JP and Tracy and Pam and Amber and Mike and Vanessa and Bethany and forgive me for anyone I forgot. I miss you guys, tons.

And although I have yet to land a book deal - and curse the rolling ball of negativity who planted that idea in my head (joking Auckland!) - it's my tiny passion nonetheless, and that is a good thing to have in this world, especially so far from home.

Cheers,
AM

Quote of the day

"Our education is where it is. Painful or not, at least we will know where we stand and then we can begin to improve."

-Dr Abdullah al Karam, the director general of Knowledge and Human Development Authority, which oversees Dubai's, speaking after the first school inspection reports were published

10 random facts about life in the UAE, in celebration of my one-year Abu-versary. I never thought I would make it; I did.

1. Just about everyone has a mobile phone, really, there are very few land lines, and most of them walk around clutching it. For a reporter who battles all sorts of daily barriers to information, this is a sweet consolation prize.

2. They pickle everything here, from potatoes to carrots. I think I have even seen turnip. They come in tasty, salty little bundles with your lunch. At first it's weird, then eventually you just eat it.

3. If you live here, your employer will be involved in your life to an extent you did not think possible, and you will either drive yourself mental, or accept it, or mostly accept it and sometimes let it drive you mental. As it did this week and I'm sure will again.

4. Emirati women who marry men who are not from the UAE cannot pass on citizenship to their children, although the Minister of Foreign Affairs has just signalled this can't go on.

5. If a couple of people do something that is against the law, they are quickly dubbed "a gang"; criminal cases are also often given great names. My favourite was "the case of the non-existent wallet".

6. Expats require a "letter of no objection" (meaning your company, which is involved in your life to an extent you did not think possible, does not object to you doing something) to: get electricity hooked up, a driver's license, an alcohol license and, oddly, as a friend found out, to get back a wallet that has been lost and turned in to a local police station.

7. There are no self-serve gas stations (they tried last summer; it has not really caught on)

8. Filipinos tend to sing a lot, out loud, wherever they are; taxi drivers from Pakistan like surprisingly sappy music, Emiratis often leave the plastic covering on their fancy car seats, people from Lebanon say "yanni" (a version of 'um') more than I thought possible and those who speak English as a second, third or whatever language generally say "too much" when they mean "a lot". In other gross generalisations I never before would have felt comfortable making, normal British people really do call each other "darling" (and also, in my opinion, WAY overuse the word "literally") and many Canadians, myself included, can not stop saying 'eh' at the end of everything no matter how much they try or how long they are sequestered from each other.

9. The male cleaner at work will enter the woman's bathroom at any time he feels like it, to clean, and there is nothing me or anyone else can do to stop it.

10. Even after a year, apparently, some of us here at The National cannot get enough of the foliage, band or people at Safari, the jungle-like Filipino bar at the top of the Howard Johnson Hotel.

A relic from the 70s, it has to be, at the corner store

I don't want to gross anyone out or anything, but I noticed this box of maxi pads - the belted kind! how retro! - at the store by my place and had to share. The guy was soooo happy I was taking a picture of his product.

I often say "this place is still in the 70s" to explain some of the more bizarre things I encounter. When I saw this, I felt it to be very true.