The Joe Fresh in Abu Dhabi is massive

That's two storeys in Yas Mall's Town Square. Everything looks gorgeous! No socks, shoes, undies, makeup or - sadly for the elderly among us, like me - eye glasses. Yet. 

Snap caption: 2 guys 1 girl, what's going on nobody knows

World Trade Centre, Abu Dhabi. I'm open to your interpretations.

Presented without comment: Big Lebowski Fest, Dubai

Okay, just one comment: The Dude looks like Snoop Dogg. That is all.

Snap caption: Why are the $12 hotel room gummy bears always so tempting?

I don't eat gummy bears, ever. But put them in this bear-shaped container and charge me an arm and a camel leg for them, and I'm in!!

Overheard in the newsroom: One Direction/Litterbox edition

"I can't drive by a barbecue without my teeth rattling."

"So you know that cat I took home? It poops more than any cat pooped, ever."

"It's like the Arab world's La Bamba."

"It's embarrassing how big my head is."

"Nobody puts One Direction in a corner."

Sandpocalypse: The UAE was basically orange today

It's hard to describe what today's sandstorm, which swept across the country in a war-worthy stealth move overnight, feels like exactly. But I will try. 

It's like the blanket of a snowstorm, but warm. Eyes burn, lungs are heavy and the weird, foggy glow of the outdoors permeates everything. You do not want to be outside; you don't quite know what to do with yourself. 

It's very dystopian - and not a little disturbing, no matter how many you've been through. And the sand gets everywhere: dusting the car, your purse and shoes, in your hair and inside your house. There was a haze two floors down, in my underground parking garage. It was spooky down there. 

People kind of look at each other, dazed, like 'is this really happening?' People crash on the roads and others postpone trips so that won't happen. Some people wear surgical masks and you think 'should I be doing that'? And then you decide against it. I always threaten to wear swimming goggles when this happens, and if it goes on for the three days they are predicting, I just might. 

Overheard in the newsroom: April Fool's Day edition

"I trust nothing on the internet today."