Friday morning, the gym

I do not often see the inside of my gym on a Friday morning, as I am more likely to be sleeping in after being out late. (Such is Abu Dhabi. Plus, Thursday night is like Friday here) But this morning I did, 9.30am, and boy was it a shock.

Of course the regulars from the rest of the week were there: the lady who is wearing the exact same Lululemon top each time I see her; the lazy woman, who basically slumps against whatever machine she is on, moving her legs on it as if in slow motion, at the lowest level, and the woman who wears her long hair down and lots of makeup to work out. Anyone with long hair knows you do not want your hair down when you work out. It's just awful. That is why anyone with long hair knows a woman who wears her hair down at the gym - with full makeup - is highly interested in attracting attention. If you know what I mean. There was also the nice gym attendant and, per usual, a random man who started doing free weights in the same space it was clear to anyone with eyes I had already set up shop in, forcing me to move and get grumpy.

The rest of the people at the gym, however, were the sort of superfits that just make you feel bad about yourself. Ones who look as if they just walked out of a Reebok ad. Who like to bundle together an hour long body-pump class and an "intense" RPM (spinning) class on their day off, and view it as some sort of social activity. The sort who are always "in shape". As I fiddled with my iPod and arm band, a couple bounced in and moved in on the scale. Jabbing at each other and laughing, each trying to get on to it, I thought "what is this all about?" No man I have ever been seeing will be in the same room when I step on a scale; there certainly would not be jostling and giggling about the whole thing, as if it were some sort of event they were looking forward to. You know, "honey, I lost two more pounds. Oh my gaaaa, I just can't keep weight on anymore since we've upped the cardio!" Do couples like these, who seem like all they really have time for is to work out, and weigh themselves, ever just say "do you want to just eat pasta and drink wine tonight?"

Needless to say, they were still there, feeling the burn, an hour later. I, on the other hand, was heading to the pool.