Possibly the world's laziest mall sign

And in Dubai Mall, where with 1,200 shops, not only do you regularly need detailed directions, a person can be pretty sure level one and two will have "more shops".

I travelled almost 11,000 kilometres from Canada, and still cannot escape Nickelback

Covering them at the Juno Awards, running into lead singer Chad Kroeger and his tight jeans and crispy bleached '80s bob and sinister goatee in malls and bars, reviewing their concerts, putting up with an old boyfriend who loved them – even forking over for two concert tickets so he and someone else could go – and punching the car radio to another station every time the first notes of "This is how you remind me" rasped up... it was all in the rearview mirror when I boarded the plane for the UAE. Frankly, and I did not realise this until just now, but in addition to a wild adventure I have just had 18 months of sweet, sweet peace.

And then this: news the Vancouver band will play Dubai's Gulf Bike Festival, Feb 4-6.

I am pretty sure I must rearrange my stereo wires that week.

Friend's Facebook update sums up Emirati approach nicely

"Out on a run tonight when a black SUV starts trailing me. I eventually stop and the window rolls down to reveal youngish Emirati. Him: Excuse me, do you have a minute? I would like to ask you something. Me: Of course (ever polite, thinking he might be lost, despite the fact I am beetroot, sweating and in lycra). Him: I am going to Australia next week, do you think I should fly direct or transit in Singapore?"

18 months later: things that no longer shock me about the UAE

1. Men making horrible sounds in their throat and then spitting.

2. Labourers catching naps on small grassy stretches at the side of busy roads.


3. Children not buckled in to their parents' cars, babies on drivers' laps, or toddlers standing up and sometimes even poking their heads out the sun roof or the rear window for a peak.

4. Cats missing tails, eyes, ears paws and possessing the most horrible rasping meow you can imagine. Oh, and cats in the newsroom. Namely these two characters: Ceiling Cat (left) and Bill.



5. Cars and trucks drag racing down a main street at top speeds in the middle of the day.

6. Cars and trucks undertaking people travelling in the fast lane on the inner shoulder of major highways.

7. Children playing with things that even I, not a parent and inexperienced in the area, know aren't safe ie plastic drycleaner bags and fire composed of gas and matches.

8. Men stopping and offering me a ride while I wait for a taxi; some even circle around the block to check a second time if I am sure. (Although last night's version did raise an eyebrow: two men on a motorcycle, one mumbling "you need a ride" as I crossed in front of them at the signal. Not sure he had fully thought that one through)

9. The view, which is rarely beautiful (except in the desert) but often interesting. Take this one, from my room at the Monarch Hotel in Dubai.



10. Seeing women swim in abayas.

Overheard in the newsroom

"I'm sorry, there's no such thing as a 'press release' department".

Another day, another press release about H1N1 awareness training

The cartoon on the screen, the pig in a grim reaper's costume? Just a bonus I guess.

What do you think the owner of the car means by this sticker?

My sharp-eyed friend spotted this gem on a car outside my apartment in the Water Tank area one night. We were pretty floored. Is it the equivalent of the "girls keep out" sign in the boys' treehouse, ya think?