I was on the plane and heard the air hostess - "I was in Dubai and it was so hot, I mean it was literally, I mean I was literally (hands motioning buckets of sweat falling from her head)..." My favourite is when people misuse it. "I was literally fuming..." I would like to see that!
As for the weird rules, well, I met a friend at a pub and since she has a beautiful brown Lab (named, awesomely, Fudge) we sat outside on the patio. The weather has been absolutely gorgeous here - it was 30 degrees C today - so it was really lovely. As we took our first sips of cider, a staffer came out from inside to tell us that we couldn't actually drink on the patio at that hour. Just smoke, is all.
Next day I met the friend again, another pub, in Earl's Court. Tables outside. Her, her boyfriend, on either side of the deuce against the stone wall. And of course Fudge. I, being the 3rd (well fourth) did what others around me had done: pulled my chair up to the side of the table between them. Five minutes later the bartender comes out to tell me that I can't sit there - the place is only licensed for chairs along the wall. Then I hear a lady at the table beside us, who has also been rousted: "The last pub we were at, you couldn't drink outside, but only on Sundays!"